I grew up in an extremely abusive home until I was 16. The effect of the abuse created a lot of problems for me. I believed I was worthless. I didn't understand what was normal. I had many fears and much confusion. I had no hope for something better for myself.
To escape the pain of my life, I turned to alcohol and self-harm. To survive, I turned
acquaintances. I didn't understand that my
acquaintances were taking advantage of me. I thought the way they treated me was normal. For instance, I found myself homeless and a male "acquaintance" offered to let me live with him. I didn't understand that what he expected of me in return wasn't normal or alright.
At 21 years of age, I found myself pregnant. I also found Mercy Ministries. And through them, I found God. For the first time in my life, I was presented with Truth. I was offered hope and love. I planned to place my baby up for adoption, but they told me to pray about this decision. Surprisingly to me, God led me to choose to keep my baby. Mercy Ministries does not allow children in their homes, so when I had my son I had to leave. That's when I found out about Shiloh.
I moved into Shiloh with my five day-old baby. I was scared of the decision I had made to keep my baby. I had no idea how to be a mother. I still had a lot of problems myself. How could I take care of a baby when I was still so broken?
God has provided Shiloh and the staff here to teach me what I need to know to parent my son and live my life. They push me to do God's will, walk close to God and so much more. I have learned that God loves me, God has a plan for me, and He forgives me.
I still work on these things every day. I still struggle, but I have also made a lot of progress. My son is thriving. The staff says I am doing a great job as a mother. I have gotten over many of my fears. I am learning lots of new skills. I am learning about so many things like friendship, unconditional love, forgiveness, and how to go to God with my problems. I pray God will completely restore me and I believe He will.
I want to live my life for God and do what I can for the Kingdom of God. I have a purpose.